Why Dean Cain?


It’s come to our attention that Dean Cain, the face of our movie ranking system, is a ride-or-die Trump supporter. We want to make it undeniably clear that we don’t fuck with Trump, his horrific policies, beliefs, or attitudes towards basically everyone, but specifically Black women and men, POC, Muslims, immigrants, and the LGBTQ+ community. This is us fully denouncing Cain until we find a suitable replacement.


Reasonable question. To set us apart from boring rating systems, we decided to judge against our most hated TV movie star. He’s in some really terrible ones, although we don’t begrudge the man getting money however he can.

Every review will be rated on a scale from 1 to 4. Since it’s only fitting that our nemesis Dean Cain* would be the barometer for our final decision, we’ll rate the movie with one of the following Dean Cains:

1    Not too shabby. Actually pretty enjoyable overall.

2    Got some shit brewin’ here, but still not the worst.

3    Oh boy, here we go. This one has got ISSUES.

4    The very worst. Barely tolerable. Alex’s forte.